WARNING: This blog entry is for satire/humor purposes, and should not be taken seriously. I assume no responsibility for any actions on other people’s parts due to this entry, so if Apple’s iAttorneys come to sue your iButt for iLibel, it’s your own iFault. Bottom line: If it ain’t true, don’t do it.

Rumors are all over the place on the blogosphere. However, if you took a census of all the rumors on the internets, you’d find that a vast majority belong to Apple. Apple, with its tight lip and paranoid curtains concerning its products, continues to allow all sorts of Apple Computers Rumors to spread around.

Now, it looks like the speculators are saying that the 3G iphone is coming really soon, and that The chip for the iphone might already be here. Nevertheless, I recall rumors of a “Uber-iphone” that turned out false, and was a little disappointed that the SDK isn’t here yet (although it exists.)

Now, I will admit that I finally got myself an iTouch, and jailbroke it…then bricked it…then unbricked it….upgraded it…re-jailbreaked it, and now it’s nice and insulting to Apple again. However, it seems to me that Apple rumors are becoming a dime a dozen now. Therefore, what better way to build one’s blog then to create one yourself!

How to create an iRumor

Step One: Decide whether you will create a new product or “upgrade” a new one.

Apple has lots of interesting products at its disposal to upgrade, from the iMac to the iTouch to the iPhone. But you might be interested in creating a new thing to fan about. Maybe an “iFan” or “iCar” or even “iRobot!” …Oh…wait…maybe not that.

Or you can simply do a new add-on to an old product. If this is the path you choose, proceed to step three, and skip the step below.

Step Two: What the hell is the product?

So, it’s a brand spanking new Apple product, eh? Well, you need to figure out what it’ll do! And if you can’t, speculate! Maybe it makes coins appear out of nowhere! Or it allows you constant access to Jesus, or the deity of your choice! Or, maybe it saves the world! The vaguer, the better!

Step Three: Figure out the new awesome thing about the rumor that will change the world.

Who gives a carp if there’s something new? People want to know what something does and how it affects their life, even if it’s something like “It’s shiny and cool, and has Youtube.” Isn’t that cool! People want to be part of the latest thing, and those with the ex-latest thing will want the latest thing yet again!

Step Four: Spread it like crazy!

Got a blog? Use it! Twitter? Tweet Away! Shoot some emails, post some responses, let the world know that your iRumor is born!

How to work it

So, let’s say that you’ve heard word that Apple is creating iThing. Well, first, you should figure out what iThing is. Second, try to understand that iThing has the power to change the world because of its…

1. Sleek Look
2. Cool utilities
3. Internet Access
4. All of the Above
5. All of the above and everything else.

Then, you ship it off to all the rumor mills, and away it goes! Congratulations, you just gave birth to a brand new iRumor.

Special Challenge: Create your own iRumor

Think of a product so ridiculous that Apple could never make it, nor want to make it, then make an iRumor based on it.

Post it on your blog, and link back to this post! Be sure to say that what you’re saying is parody!